Mi corazoncito

So I hear a Spanish song, right? I’m not paying much attention to it. But then I HEAR it. It’s like OOPSPOWSURPRISE! It sounds great. The music, the singing. It grabbed me. So I have to find it. Thru the power of Google and shazam I find it. And do you fucking know who the song is by… FUCKING AVENTURA!! Like wow. You’re thinking like “Duh dumbass, they’re only one of the most popular fucking Spanish bands around”. But no, see. Of course I’d fucking like an Aventura song out the blue cuz it’s one of HER favorites. At some point she might have suggested I listen to some of their shit. I can never get away from YOU. truth is I don’t want to. Little things like this keep you in my heart. For better and worse, but I’m ok with that. Cuz when I looked down at my phone and saw who and what I was listening to? KOOL AID!!!!!! Hardcore koolaid cheesin. Smile like I’s a dumb fool. A smile for you.

6/12/09 – 2/16/14

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I’m not so sure she feels so “lucky” to have known and Loved me. Sure she has the relief though. Hank and Karen in such a bad way.

Atticus: The woman that you love is out there and you know you can’t have her. How do you even get up in the morning?
Hank: Well the booze is always helpful and so is the art. Everything that I write is either for her or about her. So I’m with her, even when I’m not.

And that’s really all that will be left. I wouldn’t be surprised if we never spoke again. That’s life. The life I created with my poor decisions. I will say, I don’t think you ever did or would’ve accepted me and all my flaws as I accepted yours. There’s more, but that’s all I feel the need to say now. Or maybe ever will.

H&K

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“I think the world sees Hank as this, fabulous fuck up. And umm, I know that guy. I’ve spent a lot of time with that guy. But I am better acquainted with the other guy. The one that listens and hears everything. The one that looks at you and sees right into your soul. The one that makes you believe in every fucking fairy tale you’ve ever been told. Ultimately, I may not even be the woman who gets to enjoy the man that I know he can be. But I still want the best for him.” – Karen.

When I said You were Karen it was in jest. Little did I know I’d become the man-child who is supremely and constantly fucking up… You know, Hank. Self sabotage. Smh.

“We need to forgive our-fucking-selves. No one is gonna do that for us, deal?” – Hank

“…
Loving you, has been the most profound, intense, painful experience of my life. In fact, it’s been almost too much to bear. As your [partner] I made a vow to protect you from the world, never realizing I was the one who would end up hurting you the most. [and now] my heart breaks, mostly because I can’t imagine you speaking of me with any sense of pride. How could you? Your [partner] is a child in a man’s body. He cares for nothing and everything at the same time. Noble in thought, weak in action. Something has to change, something has to give. It’s getting dark. Too dark to see. ” – Hank

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Maybe, just maybe, it’s not too late…

You are.

Each day more beautiful than the one before
Sun high, clear skies
Palm trees swaying in the breeze.
The Lovely calm, keeps my mind at ease
I see you in it all
Your soft skin in the breeze
Gently brushing against me
Your long flowing hair in all of the leaves of the trees
Long beautiful legs in long steady trunks of the palms.
Lately the moon’s shined so bright, reminiscent of the twinkle in your eyes.
The birds try in vein to duplicate the warmth and joy in the cackle of your laugh
The almighty sun so bright and high. The center of our universe, is nothing, but your smile.
There aren’t enough words to properly encapsulate the magnificence and beauty that is your smile.
As the sun sets it’s splendor is only comparable to that of your breasts.
And as the sun sits on the horizon, exposing all the colors of nature, it is you, fully exposed.
Everything uncovered.
The truest beauty one can behold.
Before I take you in my arms, and into the night.
You are nature.
You are beauty.
You are.
You.

SURPRISE!

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And just like that I’m going to my first NFL game to see my favorite team. The Denver Broncos (yo ass shoulda knew that tho). Not only that, but it’s a weekend trip, a mini vacation, if you will. Me & Her. Can’t believe it. She did that. All on Her own. Amazing, She is.

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