Longing for… anything

I long for the depression cuz at least I’ll feel something
Happiness is gone so I’m in a state nothing
I tried hating you.
I tried hating me
Now I’m praying to a god who I don’t believe
Take me into the dark or to where my mind is finally free
This is not where I’m supposed to be
This is not what I need
If I can’t find you how can I follow your lead?
I’m blindfolded traveling in uncharted waters
Thus far the new path has lead me to nowhere
I lied everytime I said I don’t care