“I’m not sentimental-I’m as romantic as you are. The idea, you know, is that the sentimental person thinks things will last-the romantic person has a desperate confidence that they won’t.”
I found myself torn between these two idea(l)s. it’s always about balance. You can believe in the fantasy. That part doesn’t need to be realistic. The part that needs to be realistic is the work put forth towards the fantasy and keeping it alive. Merging two worlds of beliefs, that may be contradictory, is not as easy as I thought. You start hedging too far one way and lose focus. My problem is the FOCUS. Now that I have my focus on everything, it’s out of control. Worse to know it’s my own fault. And making it right doesn’t necessarily make it right. If the gods are so merciful eventually it can be right. While what I need is time. She needs the same. So will the time make us right? Or will I always be wrong, even when I am finally right? I’m not a hopeless romantic. I’m a hopeful one. But hope hasn’t brought me this far. It was action. The moment I stopped moving is the moment I fell apart.