Month: March 2010

Want You To Want Me

i suffer from insomnia. sometimes it sucks, sometimes it just is. you get used to it. well i did. Last night was particularly rough. I couldn’t really sleep AT ALL. but i was so tired. Add to the fact that I’m living with the heartbreak of FAILING the love of my life. Sometimes it’s just too much (emotionally that is). I never really cared about much. I didn’t loathe life, but i was very closed minded. This whole situation has opened my eyes to LIFE. What I had/have, what I can attain, all that good ish. BUT it always made me see what I lost and am losing. HER. Everything she is and was and continues to be. EPIC FAIL. If I could describe perfection. She surpassed that. And I? I lost sight of the goal. Lost sight of myself. Me failing myself may have been the biggest fail. It is because I failed to live up to my own standards that I caught this L. Need to blame someone? look in the mirror. I’ve had plenty bad luck and bad situations I was placed in and couldn’t control. But this here? Naw, it’s on me;  that’s the absolute worst part. I can’t just write it off. Do I love her enough to let go? yes. But I’m not ready yet. I need some time.

“Take care of yourself & everything will fall into place” I agree. but my plans were to include you into that. that’s the problem. So no matter how successful and happy I become. Something will ALWAYS be missing. BUT Thank You. your support means the world to me.

I LOVE YOU. . .

**funny thing is (to me, at least) now i understand all these corny R&B love songs about heartbreak. like this one (that I ignored and never really paid no attention to, until it came on pandora the other day)(first verse especially):

no one will

How much can one learn from love
How much can two learn by livin’ like we do

So much I get from your touch
The memories have conquered me got me callin’ out to you
In my way, no one will, no one will
Appreciate the way you move, the way you step & your attitude
What I say, no one will, no one will
Take a dive in the deepest part to swallow your flow & nectar
We laugh, we laugh, we laugh, when we love, when we love
Said we laugh, we laugh, laughter is inside our love yeah

So tell me how much can two learn from pain
Can one explanation derail the destination
Well, maybe, I’m insane
But don’t you hold it against me girl
I’m a lunatic with conviction
I said, no one will, no one will, no one will
Appreciate everything you are, nurture you & your open heart
What I say, no one will, no one will
Give you all you want & more
Help you find what you’re looking for
We laugh, we laugh, we love Love

When I touch you, when I think about how I wanna touch you
It feels like I have so much to look forward to
And uh, it’s all I ever want to feel
That’s all I ever NEED to feel
To be without it, is too much.
To be without it

Shawn Chrystopher – The Audition EP

HERE IT IS!!! Shawn Chrystopher’s first official project since the release
of his debut album “A City With No Seasons” back in August 2009! The EP
features the songs “Like a Kid Again”, “Can’t Take That From Me”, and “No
Snitchin”!

To receive a hard-copy of the EP mailed to your home, sign up for Shawn’s
Street Team via his site http://honourrolestudent.com/

download and tracklist after the cut

Continue reading “Shawn Chrystopher – The Audition EP”

Heartbreak

My head keeps spinnin, I can’t stop having these visions, I got to get with it

Lost and confused. Will I find myself again? Right now, I just don’t know. Positivity doesn’t come easy. Change doesn’t happen over night. But life just keeps going. What’s worse is it’s all my fault. No reversing. No redeeming. Back to where I came from. Not where I want to be. Not where I belong.

Home is where your heart. My heart’s with you. But your heart is no longer with mine. I still hold out hope that one day you’ll be back. If not, I only have myself to blame.

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