I’m embarking I a new writing journey. Trying to write from a new perspective that’s a bit foreign to me. Hope it comes to me as easy as everything else. This is the first piece in this adventure. (After the cut)
Category: inside the mind of the insane
inside the mind of the insane
Sinking.
Originally my thought process of the “sinking” being lifted was that I knew you were here. Thick and thin. There’s no going back this time. No matter what. That’s security.
Then…. As my mind kept going I thought. Maybe I’ve resolved that feeling cuz maybe you leaving again is just inevitable. And I’m trying to hang on to the happiness as best as I can while I have it. Before I get utterly destroyed, again. “Fault”, notwithstanding
I have a feeling it’s the former. Nay, I KNOW it’s the former. But the latter is interesting to me.
I’m ready.
Same cycle seems to continue.
Keep reaching elsewhere.
How soon will it come?
Karate Chop: the almost song of the year
Replacing Casino with Lil Wayne for a “remix” was 100% the label’s idea to get this song mad buzz. Bad idea for several reasons. Without Wayne this prolly coulda been the song of the year (it’s in my top 5 no fucking doubt. Maybe #1). They realized they had a hit and instead of running with it, they made the same mistake EVERY label makes. LET’S PUT A HOT ARTIST ON AS A FEATURE! Well in this case Wayne immediately KILLED the single and pushed Future’s album back. Due to his unsavory Emmet Till reference and the severe backlash that ensued. single DEAD. The radio is ONLY gonna play a verse or two once this got into constant rotation or in mixes. Casino’s verse would’ve rarely been heard by the public. It would’ve allowed Future to have a stand alone single that HE powered. Not a cut you forced him to play second fiddle on his own song cuz you wanted one of the biggest acts in hiphop drop a shitty ass verse on. Now it’s a mostly forgetten mixtape song that could’ve been a MAJOR smash. You label types don’t learn tho… I’m sorry Future Nayvadius Cash. You didn’t deserve this.
Grateful
The same forces responsible for this beauty are the same forces responsible for yours.
When you smile?
Geez! WHEN YOU SMILE!
You take my soul.
I’m nothing but yours.
Beauty isn’t just what you are.
It’s WHO you are
They say beauty only runs skin deep
Well that’s because they can only see the surface.
Beauty starts from the soul and works it’s way out
It doesn’t start from the outside to work it’s way inward
You are the physical manifestation of the beauty of the soul.
Your soul.
You connect the dots of the true holy trinity: the mind body & spirit.
Making each day brighter with your thoughts. Your smile. Your YOU
you cannot teach wisdom. You can only share it.
You give & share with us your all.
I am only grateful.
Drafts
“Never stop writing“. I still do. These are pieces of works. Mostly unfinished. But here’s a small glimpse for those of you who have enjoyed my work. I haven’t fed you recently. There are things to come.
“If a writer falls in love with you, you can never die.”
I’ve seen this a countless number of times. But it’s true. I never thought that meeting you would make you immortal but it has. The only thing about us that will last forever….
Then you wonder have I really let it go? Or have i just convinced myself I have and I’m gonna breakdown again any day now.
Us stupid hopeless romantics. We’re just that, hopeless. Or so full of hope that were hopeless in the eyes of others. So stupid to still believe that one day we will still finally decide to make it work.
We talked about us. And Love
Us & Love. They are one and the same. Well they were… Still are
I say this to say “we were always perfect in moments”. Seems the everLAsting Love we share(d) will only live infinitely in those moments. So now I press on with only the memories left. Searching for the piece to fill the void that only you fit.
Deja vu
Be happening A LOT lately. But not the ones I need. Guess I’ll keep dreaming. . .
Peyton wins Manning bowl, says “Eli? I hate that MFer”
Not 100% sure but I’m like 99% percent sure that Peyton told Eli how much of a bitch he is right here. But for realsies. We 2-0, hoes. Most of the first half was SLOW. Especially the first qtr. rookie Montee Ball fumbled a would be touchdown in the 1st and that led to the resurrection of Knowshon Moreno. Who went from making the roster by the skin of his teeth to the RB we featured. Scored 2 beautiful TD’s and prolly turned himself into the #1 RB for the time being. Although we still expect Ball to eventually be the man.
The game was paltry 10-9 at half. The only TD being Moreno’s 20 yd run on a sweep right with PERFECT blocking. 1TD!! Considering that the Manning bros combined for 11 TD chucks last week, well this was unacceptable and wouldn’t stand. And it didnt. Although there was more RUNNING. We, The Fantasical Broncos, scored on a short throw to Wes Welker. And another Knowshon Moreno scamper, this one for 25 yds. Brandon Jacobs scored on a 1 yd run that came after 3 phantom flags gave the Giants 3 bogus automatic 1st downs. COMPLETE BULLSHIT! ¡MIERDA! I said! But we were still in control despite the refs best effort. I think the head official was CJ Ross, just sayin. 24-16. Got it? Good. After an interception of brother Eli. We quickly score on an 11 yd toss 2nd year breakout TE Julius Thomas. 31-16. Giants then get the ball and fail. Punt to 5′-5″ (FIVE FOOT FIVE FCKING INCHES) former track star, Trindon Holiday. AND BANGBANG! 81 punt return to make it 38-16. At which point Jerome “I’m a jerkass giants fan” Dickens conceded defeat to me via tweeter and took one of the many seats available to him. Da’Rel Scott scored again later but the game was sealed. And for good measure we added a FG 41-23. BANGMUTHAFUCKINBANG!
Quick thoughts:
1.We dropped a lot of fucking passes. Wes Welker and Eric Decker were the main culprits. Just the same as in week 1. This is troubling and something to continue to watch as the season rolls on.
2. We are still down our 2 best defensive players in Champ and Von “theQBKiller” Miller. We look awfully good without them. My guess is they’ll make us great.
3. 2nd straight game where the refs make dreadful calls against us. Also SUPER LATE with the flags, as if remembering “oh yeah we gotta screw the broncos. DUH. *throws flag*. I need to hear about refs being reprimanded for their horrid calls. BUT the NFL protects even the worst of the refs with all their power. So SADFACES to that trend.
2 and 0, HOES
Make sure you watch those yellow lines
I have some things I really need/want to say. But I remain undecided whether to say them aloud (here) or to keep them quiet (they stay on paper never to be shared). Maybe I’ll find a proper way to say them here and that’ll be the middle ground. I need to make sure I say the it the right way.
Distortion & Static
She got me a dream catcher but it ain’t caught a damn thing.
Up all night day dreaming new dreams
Or contemplating ones I just had
Mind in a nonstop marathon and I can’t seem to figure it out
Or maybe I have and it’s left me in an unsettled state.
Knowing my dreams will never become reality.
DreamS, plural? Or Dream as in THE DREAM? (No terius)
Dream dream dream
Fantastical thoughts that plant ideas in your mind.
There’s a thin line between optimism, realism & pessimism.
I tread lightly where they all intersect.
It happened once it can happen again. Or it happened once and you blew it. Or HOLY FUCK MY MIND IS GONNA EXPLODE.
So either I know it all and the truth destroys my being
Or I don’t know anything and that distorts all reality.
Maybe the dream catcher is waiting for the right dream to capture and bring to life.
BananaClipse 