happy happy joy joy – Page 3

Clippers keep it 3hunna

We 1-1. I want gonna open the season with a post about losing to the fucking JV Laker squad. But we RAN Golden State last night. Lob City was in full effect. In a 37 second span there was 3 straight steals that led to Blake Griffin lobs. THEN another steal that led to DJ catching a lob on someone for the and-1. We back baby!!! (c) Cooo-Stanza. JJ gonna get a lot of open looks for 3. Hopefully he knocks em down. Then we have da gawd CP3 he does this thing I really hate. Passes up open shots to pass to teammates. If you’re open my nigga SHOOT! In one instance he passed an open corner 3 up to force a pass inside that was stolen. UGHCK! But last night he went for 42pts and 15 assists. KEEP SHOOTING! So if CP3 averages 20ppg or something close. Things gonna be gravy. And hopefully DJ and Blake continue to grow into the wonder twins. Championship baby! It could happen. Right?

Last night. Yeezus

So bang. It’s kinda rainy and things aren’t timing well. So we miss the Yeezus pop up shop. Sad faces. But it’s cool cuz we got plenty of time to make it to the actual show. So we get downtown with the quickness. Post up by The Melt. Grilled cheese food truck. Devoured the good poison they bequeathed upon us in exchange for our legal tender. Enta da stage. We got some pretty good seats. We right on time. Merch lines were STUPID! Sorry pals I was tryna get merch for. More sad faces.

Kendrick is set to begin. Now, I have seen Mr Lamar at least 10 times. I’m over it. But Teddy has yet to see him perform a full solo set. Opening for the gawd Yeezus was not gonna be the best place to see him. And it wasn’t. At this point he’s exclusively performing the vastly overrated Good Kid MAAD City record. So all the grade A classic shit we’ve come to Love is resting in performance peace (at least for this tour). He still performed the hell out of the songs though. I’ll give him that. He put on for the set.

Intermission. We decide to post up and talk shit. I’d like to note before Yeezus’ appearance I requested aloud to the gods that Kanye do a concert performing ALL his records. And said I want to hear Thru The Wire and see the “jesus dance”….

Yeezus has arrived. Now before we go any further he performed for almost 2 fucking hours!!!! Unheard of!! So my replay of the setlist is gonna be hella off and hella all over the place, cuz for realsies he was all over the place and it was magical.

He had white hoes parading around in body suits that made em look nakey. He had a moving platform. He had a mountain with pyrotechnics. He had white jesus. He had bedazzled gimp/luchador masks. He had ALL THE ENERGY OF THE SUN PUMPING THRU HIS VEINS. How he does this thing night in and night out is amazing. At some point he performed all of Yeezus. Little here. Little there. Black skinhead, new slaves, I am a god . . . they all sounded beautiful. Then he went into a GOOD music/feature set. Songs like Mercy, Clique, Nwords In Paris, I Don’t Like And for the strangest yet ever so delightful reason he did (way too) Cold. I was too excited for that. Then back into the Yeezus performance. The theatre of the performance was ok. It didn’t matter really. But it helped transition , I guess. When he finally dropped Blood On The Leaves??!?!?! I think I lost it. Not like the white hoes in front of us, cuz they had the no rhythm dancing to even the transition music all stupid wild like game on smash, though. He did a couple other Yeezus songs and then pow he does Coldest Winter instead of Hey Mama. I. Am. Not. Mad! I believe he did another set of old songs. It might have been at this point he did Thru The Wire and my life is complete. The gawds had my back. And what does he follow with? JESUS WALKS! No jesus dance tho. =\ That’s how it all went. Yeezus to the old shit. He was giving me the concert I had hoped for in the future but right in front of my eyes!! He did diamonds from Sierra Leone remix into rihanna’s diamonds remix. KILLER! He did Runaway and it was amazing! He did Lost in the World. He did Street Lights (and I beamed the biggest smile and almost cried. Almost) before all this he did Can’t Tell Me Nothin. He did Flashing Lights. He did Stronger. Some of the renditions he did were slightly different from the originals and it was very refreshing. Kinda tweaked them to fit the vibe of the entire show. SMART. Good Life. Heartless. Power. All Of The Lights. It was all there for us to enjoy. The new the old the classic. He gave us the most spectacular of presentations. He IS a god. No doubt. Oh yeah, his Hold My Liquor? I LOVED that shit. It didn’t differ from any other songs he performed off Yeezus, but I just appreciated it more. After all of this? And so much I’m leaving out, HE CLOSED WITH BOUND 2!! A little odd of a choice to close with but not really. Kind of PERFECT! No Uncle Charlie “Last Name” Wilson, but still AFUCKINGMAZING. And poetic being the live performance of the song on Fallon is what led to me even wanting and getting tickets to see this shit. Yeezus wasn’t at all like that Fallon performance. And I’m thankful for this. Kanye is a true master of his craft and treated us to something more special than I could’ve ever imagined. Thank you (based god)

Broncos, 7-1. On these hoes

After a mishap last week (hillman’s fumble really cost us and he got benched this week. Rightfully so) we started slow but finished SKRONG! Down 21-7 in the 3rd we rung off 38 straight points!!! 31 in the forth! FOH son. We got this. Easy money. Whether we were passing, running or playing tough D, it all resulted in points on the board. It’s not how you start it’s how you finish. We showed much resolve. Fucks wit us. #BroncosNation.

Tiny Hearts. Bootleg Theatre.

Saw them Tiny Hearts last night!!!

So Twinkie Lady made an appearance last night. She so mysterious. You never know when she gon pop up. Then BAM! She there. I got there early cuz I wanted to see SkinTown and let me tell you. BEST. DECISION. EVER. it’s like synth pop/r&b. it’s great. The chick can SANG! Her sexy dance moves need a little work. Although, she was doing the tootsie roll during her cover of a super pop rock song, so she’s the most perfect human being to ever walk the earth. She performed her heart out for like 15 people and I hope nothing but success for them. SkinTown fo lyfes

Then them Tiny Hearts took the stage and there was now like 30 people there. I fully expected this. I don’t the other group members rep before they formed this indie trio. But Waajeed (the producer/DJ/some b/g vocals of the group) is a legendary producer from Detroit. Still, they barely have 1000 followers on tweeter and a 4 song EP. They’ll just keep getting bigger. Ok. The performance. AWESOME! That DeDe can sang too. And the third guy, who’s name I forgot, was killin his use of the vocorder. Centerfold sounded better live, which I did not expect one bit. I like all 4 songs offered on the EP but let’s be real “Stay” is far and away the best and could be huge if given the proper shine. So when they did “Stay”? OMG based god. It was lovely. Waajeed’s vocals on the song set it off and then I blacked out. I remember this fog overtaking us and flying in the stars. Did they drug us? Maybe. Or maybe the music was just heavenly. Either or. They only did like 6-7 songs. That’s all they probably have. And they were all delightful. These are the best shows. Then the artists blow up and shows with 500+ people feel way less intimate (Cept The xx <3). It was beautiful.

PS. Now will they mail me the fuckin VINYL I ordered? Geez.

REALLY Big Twinkie – Epic Meal Time

Twinkies are prolly the best thing ever. This one time this one lady, unbeknownst to your boy, went to like eleventy different stores to surprise me with twinkies. She ain’t even like the damn things. And that’s when I knew our Love would live forever. It was beautiful. *wipes tears*

Migos – Versace [video]

And the world is a better place now that we have the gloriousness that is the VERSACE video

Chromatics x The xx. Hollywood Bowl.

Enter: Hollywood Bowl. Parking? Make right, make left, BAM! Parked. Easy peasy. Cut a shit ton of people, tickets scanned. CUTSIES! Find seats. Damn good! Had the middle ground seats. Like maybe at the edge of the 1/3rd portion of the venue. At maybe a 45angle facing stage right (our left, DUH!). We missed the openers Austra. I COULD NOT CARE LESS! I was so happy to see them on the bill. Meant we could be a little late and still see the 2 gawdly groups I came to see. And just like that IT WAS TIME!

Chromatics came out playing one of their instrumental joints, Tick Of The Clock I believe, then out walks Ruth and shit is about to get so fuckin real! Music stops, she grabs the guitar AND THEY START PLAYING “LADY”! Ruth is a murderer on guitar, btw. And Johnny is an evil master on the keys. Playing ever key and effect so perfectly. How do you play effects PERFECTLY live? Sick bastard. Then song numero deux, KILL FOR LOVE! Are you kidding me? Back to back? You guys are nuts. Start out the set with, perhaps, the 2 best songs from the Kill For Love album. Sickos. Then they made it a trifecta with Cherry. MOTHER FUCKING CHERRY! The single for which I has been waiting for the cherry red vinyl to drop for what seems like a year(it’s STILL “coming soon” sad faces). 3 songs into the set and I have heard the top 3 songs on my list and holy shit I could just die right now. They an amazing 45 minute set. I would’ve literally just went for them. I mean looking for their live show is how I even found out they were doing the Hollywood Bowl with The FUCKING xx holy balls

We got a little break while we waited for The xx to set the stage up. And I realized who reminded me of Chromatics. DWNTWN!!!! I saw DWNTWN when they opened for the gawds Body Language (did I do a Body Language recap?!?!?! Jesus Christ I’ll write one later, for realsies this time.) But yeah, they’re different bands with a different sounds but there are a lot of similar elements. Like they’re both Synth Pop, DUH.

The xx takeover, the breaks over, NIGGA! Nigga. And BANG! WE. ARE. ROLLIN! Jamie xx starts playing. Oliver and Romy walk out. They set the stage on FIRE! And they begin with TRY!! And it sounds absolutely incredible!! All night there was just something special about every song. Whether played at a slower tempo, or faster. Or improvised a few chords. Sang the song just a tad bit different. I mean ever so slightly difference. There was just a true magic, and beauty to what they were doing. I soaked in every little bit that I could. And a few times Romy and, mostly, Oliver talked to us. Thanked us. Even said he “doubly thanked” us because we missed the Breaking Bad finale to be there, anytime pal *wink & gun*. It was so genuine. We were all best friends. Every last one of us, for one night of amazingness, BEST FRIENDS! Romy is an absolute BEAST on the guitar. Like SHIT DAMN MUTHAFUCKER! FICTION< REUNION!!! ISLANDS!!! VCR!!! And then they did it. Night Time. Bliss. Pure, absolute, unfiltered. Where was Ms Benes** to be by my side? I decided that THAT was gonna be my favorite part of the night. Little did I know the best was still to come and I had absolutely no choice in the matter, for The xx were our gracious hosts and we their guests, left with no choice. They did a version of Crystalised that was beyond perfect. It makes perfect look like a dead baby. That’s how PERFECT it was. Then you think it might be cooling off but no. SUNSET comes on and it’s endearing that you wanna slit your wrists to let all the joy from your body out into the physical world. Yet and still! They go even more crazy. They start playing Swept Away and the magic is in the air. You can literally see the magic shooting for their instruments into the air. BUT ONLY THEY DON’T SING SWEPT AWAY THEY SING SHELTER OVER THE SWEPT AWAY MUSIC SWEET FANCY MOSES! Then for the 2nd verse they chill and slow the quicker tempo Shelter and start to play the actual version and Jesus F Christ I think Romy grew angel wings. They played a straight forward version of Heart Skipped A Beat. And by straight forward I mean they lit all of our faces on fire. One by one. 3rd degree burns and skin grafts, well worth it. At this point they walk off the stage. Then they dropped the curtain and BANGFUCKINGBANG There’s a god damn 30 piece orchestra (the Hollywood Bowl orchestra). We now know there will be an encore and it’s gonna be the best thing any human being has ever witnessed since the beginning of time. Sure enough they walk back out and immediately begin playing the Intro (the first album). And it’s just fucking unbelievable. It’s just 2 minutes of instrumental insanity on the album. But this? THIS?! With a full orchestra and Jamie and Romy and Oliver all playing live? It was the promised land and they were our saviors. Then OF FUCKING COURSE they did Together (from the Gatsby soundtrack). AND WOOOOOOOO! Was it remarkable. Memorizing. They kept finding new ways to captivate us. Those xx fellows, just perfection they are. To close the show? Angels. Perfect. Beautiful. Amazing. Spiritual. Religious. Magical. Enchanting. I was completely overcome. I almost shed a thug tear or 2. Almost. My eyes was like naw bro you a thug we CAINT do that. It was the stuff of legends. I’ll never forget what The xx gave me on this magical evening. Thank you.

**remember that time Jerry and Elaine made rules and got to sexing? Oh. . .

Broncos 3-0 on all you hoes!

Another dominate performance. Notice to say really. Peyton threw where eve he wanted whenever he wanted. Set a career high for completion % in a game at 87% and broke one them fake/arbitrary NFL records (most passing TDs in first 3 games with 12). Decker and Welker didn’t suffer from the dropsies which is a good sign. Dominate defensive performance with Bailey missing a 3rd straight game. My guess is he is chillin cuz we killin. But depending on the severity of Tony Jackson’s injury we might need him to come back in case we get thin in the secondary. Pass rush looked good too. 3 down, 3 to go, Von Miller. Positive for the scum of the earth (aka the raiders): Pryor looks damn good. Going forward there’s a lot of potential. They have a dynamic young receiving core. I like the rookie Hayden. He’s gonna be a good one. But that’s it. They need A LOT of help but this year is kinda just a stop-gap. Maybe next year we renew the rivalry cuz y’all suck.

#BRONCONATION

Beach Ball Festival

So I wasn’t going to KCRW’s BeachBallFestival. I bought yeezus tickets. I’m good. Then BAM! Got an email saying that I, in fact, had won 2 tickets to the event. And I was ECSTATIC. My OT at work was taken from me and I was wondering what to do Saturday, being that both my plans ended up canceled. But nope! The based god had my back.
So bang. We get to Santa Monica Pier and we walk in, free tickets in hand. NO ONE IS HERE! Myron & E were performing their hearts out for 10-20 people. They were damn good too. Anywho we take a lap and there seems to be some decent food vendors nothing to lose your shit over. Except the bacon wrapped corn dog that I immediately ordered. I looked over and saw them put a light coating of mayo on my corndog and I was about to completely lose all of my shit cuz I HATE MAYO! But after doing that they sprinkled a blizzard of that salty Mexican cheese on that hoe and I knew I was about to be in heaven. It’s like the elote man was working the corndog stand and didn’t know any better and my world was about to benefit from his stubborn ways. It was amazing. I could live off them corndogs.
Next up was the man EVERYONE CAME TO SEE! (Or at least the man I came to see). Lee MUTHAFUCKIN Fields & The Expressions. Lee MFN Fields is the MFN Man! Was he dressed like and had the moves of a 70’s era blaxploitation pimp? Absolutely. That’s a little thing called swag. I’m guessing you’ve heard of it. Lee Fields has ALL of it. I imagine in his 40+ years as a musician with his corny moves (which weren’t corny in 1972) got him a little pussy. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was droppin it off in grandmas’ draws every night on tour. Maybe even the occasional Pre-menopause middle aged hoe. No lube necessary. Just Viagra. LOTS of Viagra. And Cocaine. He did 2 of the 3 songs I felt the most necessary for me to have a heavenly experience early in his set. So the rest was just gravy. Oh, and in addition to Mr. Fields moves there was a white man in the crowd with the worst/best dancing of all time. I mean he was gettin it the entire time. It was truly a sight to behold. Anywho, Lee (cuz we’re on a first name basis now, DUH) was makin these old hoes sweat. Another thing the crowd ranged from super duper hipster to weird Asians, to old ass people, to middle aged folk and a few Hispanic and black folk sprinkled in. Mostly a “mature” crowd. Lee gave the worst “encore” ever. Not the song, cuz it was Honey Dove and you know Honey Dove is the 3rd song I NEEDED to hear so Lee went 3/3, jolly good show. But worst cuz he left the stage for 30 secs & His band was playing when he came back for the “encore”. Either way bravo Lee MFN Fields. Your performance was awesome.
Legendary session saxophonist Maceo Parker and his band were next. So we just found a nice spot to sit and chill and let his performance be a soundtrack to our movie.
Allen Stone followed and let me tell you, I HATE YOU ALLEN STONE! You can keep your I wanna be black soul music but I don’t wanna be seen as a wanna be black white faux soul music. That shit is trash. And then you did a Bob Marley song. One of my favorites since I first heard the King as a youth. That ignited a passionate hatred within my heart for your entire existence. Not to mention you appropriated the black power fist and turned it into the white ball of stress fist. NO THANK YOU!
Then an angel took the stage. He literally floated onto the stage with wings and a halo. The glow was so bright I couldn’t quite make out who it was. Then he began to sing and covered up his angelic wardrobe with a fancy vintage suit and hat. The angel was Aloe Blacc. He, too, did the songs I most wanted to hear early in his set. I believe he did this just for me. I was suffering from severe back pain and the cold meant stretching wouldn’t help; the muscles were just too tense and wouldn’t loosen. So he did my favorite songs just for me enabling us to leave just a little early because I was suffering from this dreadful pain. We are telepathically linked, me and Aloe that is.
And just like that it was over (for us). The car had heated seats allowing for my back muscles to melt back into comfort. What a delightful Saturday.

Peyton wins Manning bowl, says “Eli? I hate that MFer”

Not 100% sure but I’m like 99% percent sure that Peyton told Eli how much of a bitch he is right here. But for realsies. We 2-0, hoes. Most of the first half was SLOW. Especially the first qtr. rookie Montee Ball fumbled a would be touchdown in the 1st and that led to the resurrection of Knowshon Moreno. Who went from making the roster by the skin of his teeth to the RB we featured. Scored 2 beautiful TD’s and prolly turned himself into the #1 RB for the time being. Although we still expect Ball to eventually be the man.
The game was paltry 10-9 at half. The only TD being Moreno’s 20 yd run on a sweep right with PERFECT blocking. 1TD!! Considering that the Manning bros combined for 11 TD chucks last week, well this was unacceptable and wouldn’t stand. And it didnt. Although there was more RUNNING. We, The Fantasical Broncos, scored on a short throw to Wes Welker. And another Knowshon Moreno scamper, this one for 25 yds. Brandon Jacobs scored on a 1 yd run that came after 3 phantom flags gave the Giants 3 bogus automatic 1st downs. COMPLETE BULLSHIT! ¡MIERDA! I said! But we were still in control despite the refs best effort. I think the head official was CJ Ross, just sayin. 24-16. Got it? Good. After an interception of brother Eli. We quickly score on an 11 yd toss 2nd year breakout TE Julius Thomas. 31-16. Giants then get the ball and fail. Punt to 5′-5″ (FIVE FOOT FIVE FCKING INCHES) former track star, Trindon Holiday. AND BANGBANG! 81 punt return to make it 38-16. At which point Jerome “I’m a jerkass giants fan” Dickens conceded defeat to me via tweeter and took one of the many seats available to him. Da’Rel Scott scored again later but the game was sealed. And for good measure we added a FG 41-23. BANGMUTHAFUCKINBANG!

Quick thoughts:
1.We dropped a lot of fucking passes. Wes Welker and Eric Decker were the main culprits. Just the same as in week 1. This is troubling and something to continue to watch as the season rolls on.
2. We are still down our 2 best defensive players in Champ and Von “theQBKiller” Miller. We look awfully good without them. My guess is they’ll make us great.
3. 2nd straight game where the refs make dreadful calls against us. Also SUPER LATE with the flags, as if remembering “oh yeah we gotta screw the broncos. DUH. *throws flag*. I need to hear about refs being reprimanded for their horrid calls. BUT the NFL protects even the worst of the refs with all their power. So SADFACES to that trend.

2 and 0, HOES