Category: LOSS

Drunk text

Hollywood
People abound
Spots we hit.
First date.
Epic date.
Our time?
Too late
I wanna hit you
Just a simple Hi
Can’t bring myself to
It’s not worth the pain
I really wanna say more
But it’s pointless
Thought I was over it
Never been more wrong.
Even after the back stabbing
I know everything.
I am nothing
Blackhole of emotions

Coming down… Again

My buzz in coming down
That means I’m wanting YOU
No more drugs for me to drown
So baby where are YOU?
With him
And my love’s meant nothing to you for very long
And though you’ve been gone
Your grip on me is still very strong
I’ve stopped fighting it
Goin with the flow.
I pray for death knowing I’ll never let you go

My son

3yrs young when we met
19yrs your senior
Wasn’t before long she started seeing you as my junior.
Took me some time to see myself in you.
But you took to me like glue
I didn’t want to get involved
although I was selfish. I was also scared.
I didn’t want to fall in love with you and then abandon you.
As had been done to me.
You told me you love me first.
My heart burst
Caught off guard.
But you said it as though you had said it a million times
No big deal
I felt butterflies.
While she cried
By my side
Our bond even made her jealous at times
But really I could see the joy in her eyes
We held hands at the beach.
You gave me kisses on my cheek.
Asked me carry you
Wrestled. Fought. Punched each other
Boys will be boys
Played too much in public much the disdain of your mother
You stood by me during the lonliness
I didn’t ask.
Somehow you just knew.
You always knew.
You knew I loved her.
You knew you mattered.
You thought I mattered.
You knew I loved you.
Sought my attention
My approval
Constantly reminding of things I taught you
Me & her
You & her
Me & you
All 3 of us.
In the end the hardest part was leaving you
I may never see you again.
But I will be here always.
Whatever you need. Whenever you need.
Out the blue. Years away. I’ll be here.
For you.
I was supposed to raising you! Well,WE were supposed to raise you.
You were mine! All mine.
In my heart. Till the end of time.

All gone.

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It’s all gone. Every last thing. My phone died, literally. I lost EVERYTHING. Every piece of writing! Every rhyme. Every picture. Every idea. Every contact. As for my project? Down the fuckin drain. My heart is devastated. The last 4 pieces I wrote were heart wrenching to write. They had a lot of meaning to me. And they’re just gone! Sure I have what I posted still. But that’s not nearly what I need or want. Compared to what I lost. sure I have a fancy new phone (I’m a fancy boy). But fuck that!!! That’s what I get for not backing everything up. I’m a fool. Funny thing tho; I was planning on backing it all up today. But it died friday! And completely out of nowhere SMFH

*shouts to @JeromeDickens. He said I was a ‘dope writer’. That meant a whole lot considering what a high regard I have for his book. I guess I just gotta start anew.

I’m in mourning

Happy fuck your bday BC!

First off. I don’t expect shit from no one! Wait that’s a lie. I expect everyone to let me down.
So when my bday rolled around. I KNEW they would. BUT I been on a positivity kick. So I thought. Let’s give them a chance. Mind you. I asked for NOTHING. They came at me with tales of taking me out and gifts. Names are not necessary.
But every last person who opened they mouth did not follow thru. Big surprise right? Still. Why even bother to tell me such things if you’re not gonna follow up? Oh well.
Shouts to Fresco. He followed through. But he followed through on nothing. He just came through. And THAT is why he is my best friend. Straight up. Although he did get a noise complaint lol. My nigga though. He down for me more than ‘friends’ of 10+ years!! You know how long I’ve known fresco? Family.

*my bday was monday if you’re confused

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