Put something out there. If the opportunity arises? I’m gone. Probably never to return. I’ll miss you more than I do now. But that shit don’t even fuxkin matter. Let’s see what the universe has for me. I hope it’s what I WANT. need.
Category: inside the mind of the insane
inside the mind of the insane
Just thinking…
I was really tired tonight. Early too. Told you good night. Then my mom called. Kinda random. Kinda pointless. Then I was up. I wanted to call you. I didn’t even have anything to say. I just wanted hear you. I mean, do we ever have anything to talk about? Now I’m laying here… thinking… Why don’t I just act?! I could be picking your brain. Throwing random ideas out. Listening to you(r) laugh. But I’m here. Just thinking. Would I have left a message if I got your voicemail? Definitely. What kind though? A quick one? Just a “hey”. Or maybe something more personal. Something meaningful. Definitely that. But nope. I’m just laying here. Thinking…. Thinking…. Why you?! Still! It’s like there has to be something more to all this. Are you still Pam? Or are you Clem? To me, you are both. You’re more one than the other, at times. But you’re always both. Just gotta find the balance. But I can’t do anything about that. I realized this. Finally. It’s YOU! You’re the reason for all this. I can stand up to you. And I can put my foot down. Or I can be submissive. None of it matters. It’s you that gets in the way of your own progress. You need to heal. I can support you but that’s all I can do… THINKING… THINKING! T H I N K I N G !
Here I go, again…
How did I get here again?
How’d I let my head sink back to THAT place?
All these hopes and ideas
Like I’m dreaming again
Gotta reprogram my mind.
Again
Back to reality.
There you go, druw, thinking you’re somebody. Thinking you matter.
I know I’m someone. I know I matter.
I am the King.
And you?
You’re supposed to be the queen
And we shall rule with Love’s divinity.
There’s a place where dreams are reality.
I believe I’m in that place.
Now if only I could make my reality come to life; sooner than later
I
No
We
We will be golden.
hmmm
*birdman hand rub*
how do I get her this time?
and however do I keep her . . .
“as I was thinking of you . . .”
let’s add today’s yoga instructor to the list of jerks that force me to have thoughts about you. . .
this was the first song that played today in yoga class. I was genuinely excited. then came the thoughts of her. they were pleasant.
Precursor
Still thinkin bout you. Still can’t quite grasp as to why this continues to take place
Insanity awaits. Lurking at every corner. Masking itself in every thought
you. You. YOU! I can’t seem to escape. Certainly nothing to embrace
Zero contact. I gain nothing from refrain. I gain nothing in exchanges. Lose-lose-lose.
How can it be that everything changes while everything stays the same?
Universal Magnetic
Seems like whenever we talk (face to face STOP! *breaks it down to Daft Punk* ok. Ummm. Or on the phone), WE TALK! We get calm and comfortable and we seem to want to talk about everything. Like we are being pulled together [to.get.her] by some force. We’ve always been perfect in moments. Longevity is the problem. Seems the universe won’t allow us to be great. Just in tiny spaces that are infinite. I cannot accept this. I will not. It’s not enough. Never was…
Mis sueños
What do all the dreams mean?
Are they just an outlet for the subconscious thanks to the internalizing of real/true emotions?
I have a lot of déjà vu, so can I expect a few of these visions to come to pass in reality?
Is it just because I’ve been thinkin about you more than a little bit lately? So, then these thoughts are manifesting a fantasy?
Are they just random and I’m placing too much significance on the theatre of the mind?
Perhaps I’ll find out soon. Or maybe I never will.
What I do know if I saw you in my dreams. We engaged. I felt myself relax. in a fucking dream my body in a sleeping state RELAXED! You have complete control of me. I hate this. After I felt this happen my mind was able to grasp that I was in a dream and I somehow forced myself to wake up. I was amazed when I awoke and knew what I did. I didn’t want my mind to fool me any longer. It’s not real. None of it is. Or maybe, just maybe, it will be and I don’t want to experience it twice. I would like for reality to surprise me. For once.
It felt good to be around a broad that really knows me
.
(un)finished
I wish you knew the truth
I wish I could tell you how I really feel.
I wish I could rewrite history where We win
Can’t go back.
Can’t move forward.
Limbo.
Purgatory?
The book is about ready to close on our story.
Unfinished
So many unfinished stories
My library is filled with them
I keep starting
Never can seem to finish.
That’s how my story will end.
Just like all the others. . .
BananaClipse 