Category: magical land of whimsy

magical land of whimsy

Collage of loss

I don’t know what to say
What to do
All I have is love for you
It leaves me nowhere
cuz there is no us
Starting to wonder if there ever was
I’m only hurting myself
Yet clearly I can’t let go
It’s painfully obvious that I won’t get that 2nd chance.
Try tellin my heart that though
He knows where he belongs.
And won’t let my mind be free
Doesn’t matter what else I want to see
Blind love knows your touch
The addiction brought pain that’s far to much
To bare
You took it all away while you were here
Just as quickly you were gone.
The pain returned. Much more strong
And I’m really at a loss cuz I should have been gone from this hold so long ago
But I feel it in my soul
Something broken can’t as always be fixed
But in life you’re still in mix
You accepted my scars and I loved yours.
Peas in pod. Before we became odd.
To me you’re still same despite your claims.
Guess we didn’t have forever to be lame.

Just words

If I told I love you
How would you react?
Would you accept my love?
Would you turn me away?
Shamed I ever gained the courage to tell you my true feelings
I won’t tell you. Definitely not now
I hope I get the chance to later
Gaze into your eyes
Get lost in your smile.
And just let it go
3 simple words
With limitless meaning.
From me to you.
Pure and true.
I love you.

LostSoul(ful)

It’s time to go
Put the lights out
Put My light out
Put my life out
Tired of the pain.
Constant disdain
Life since you will never be the same
Can’t find the good. Can’t see the upside
Half empty? Try the glass is broken and everything’s gone
Don’t have the strength to move on
But I have the will to end it all
Mind’s in a constant free fall.
Heart vs brain in a free for all
For who gets to take me away
To the land of true freedom
The dark abyss from which there’s no return
The devil lives within me. My soul he’s burned
I live an internal hell
I’m ready to visit for real.
The place in which I’ll forever dwell
Land of the lost souls
The place of my creation.
Where I’m next in line as the leader of the damned nation
Tortured soul that can never find happiness
You were just apart of my life to further bring down
Lead me deeper to the dark side to bear my crown
My true calling.
Found.

My son

3yrs young when we met
19yrs your senior
Wasn’t before long she started seeing you as my junior.
Took me some time to see myself in you.
But you took to me like glue
I didn’t want to get involved
although I was selfish. I was also scared.
I didn’t want to fall in love with you and then abandon you.
As had been done to me.
You told me you love me first.
My heart burst
Caught off guard.
But you said it as though you had said it a million times
No big deal
I felt butterflies.
While she cried
By my side
Our bond even made her jealous at times
But really I could see the joy in her eyes
We held hands at the beach.
You gave me kisses on my cheek.
Asked me carry you
Wrestled. Fought. Punched each other
Boys will be boys
Played too much in public much the disdain of your mother
You stood by me during the lonliness
I didn’t ask.
Somehow you just knew.
You always knew.
You knew I loved her.
You knew you mattered.
You thought I mattered.
You knew I loved you.
Sought my attention
My approval
Constantly reminding of things I taught you
Me & her
You & her
Me & you
All 3 of us.
In the end the hardest part was leaving you
I may never see you again.
But I will be here always.
Whatever you need. Whenever you need.
Out the blue. Years away. I’ll be here.
For you.
I was supposed to raising you! Well,WE were supposed to raise you.
You were mine! All mine.
In my heart. Till the end of time.

Will I ever be?

It’s cool that you believe in my dream with me
Believe in my dream for me
But everything must go
It’s been time to let go
I’m just not ready.
Will I ever be?
I tried to take a leap
But she wasn’t ready
It’s partly my fault
But I like to blame you for providing me with the false hope
Although we weren’t in the clear. You sure acted like it
Only to drop me quicker than a bad habit
Leavin me further in doubt
Still Wearing fresh scars from her. And now new ones from you
Pain from 2
And I’m only 1.
I’m still trying to overcome
I thought it was weakness.
I’m beginning to think it was a strong move to be give myself to you. And YOU
Where the weakness came was losing myself in you
But I never expected to lose YOU.
And I thought you were the new.
Attachment breeds expectation
So now I must keep a distance
I will not lose it again
At least not while I try and find YOU.
I find solace in my dreams which are more like nightmares
Taunting me with happy good times
I’m the beautiful boogie man
Haunting my own sleep so I can find something to live for…
You….

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