Category: inside the mind of the insane

inside the mind of the insane

Future? Ha!

Sometimes I wonder, do you ever think of me?
But the answer is ever so obvious
I can’t fathom why I still dream about you
I wish I didn’t
Sometimes the pain is too much to bear
Too bad I don’t have the courage to end my life
I’m a coward like that
In the same way I haven’t let go fully
Dreams of the future? Ha! I can’t see mine
The present is our gift. All we really have is time
Watch mine go to waste as I sit and wait
For a love long gone and moved on
My heart is gone

Dear unattainable,

One day I’m reaching. Catching you. Speaking words that will forever hold onto you. I thought I wanted you, rather I know in this life I need you. Every bit of time I have in my life, with you I want to spend; I want to be in every moment that you are already in. These words are vibing to me like they fell out of the sky. Because what I found in you is something like a blessing that helped me fly. I’m not on anything, however, it’s just the thought of you that makes me high.

Love you always,
BC

First listen: OLS3

Was I wrong not seein a life without you
If I could do it all again it wouldn’t happen so fast
It felt good to be around a broad that really knows me
You took it to a place where it’s no coming back
The whole time you actin unusual
I’m worried about your son
As for me I’m trying to flush you out my system
Mentally not there while I’m screwing and I only keep goin cuz that’s what you’re doin
Starin at one ex talkin bout another
This one would kill if it meant I wouldn’t suffer
[They] said I knew we wouldn’t last when I lived with you
So you try to take something for the pain, it don’t work
Gotta let a mutt be wit a mutt
Some situations don’t end without closure

Dinner table.

Grab you close make sure our lips lock
Soft breath on your neck before I attack
You love when I move your hair; place a wet kiss on your neck’s back
Move down slowly as I scale the twin peaks.
I see your eyes baby. Gettin lost in the heat
Still moving below my lips on your stomach. Continue my descent below the navel
Brace yourself Love. I’m at the dinner table.

You can be anywhere in the world but you’re here with me

It’s crazy to me that people actually visit here. Even moreso that y’all come here to actually READ my writing. Not just for music or whatever else I’m ‘supposed’ to do. (I swear Ima start covering shoes again. One day. Lol). The homie told me he visits. Shocked. My new favorite. She visits. Has me on her blogroll. Before I even knew she existed! And beast. The day she said she’s ‘lowkey obsessed’ with this here site (even if it was just in that moment), MAN! That shit meant so much to me. Apparently she doesn’t miss much. But for someone to say that? (nevermind I know she’s way more fresher at writing than me. Or that her opinion FUCKING MATTERS to me) that shit made me feel like this is not all for nothing. So to all of you. Thank you.
More pancakes? …. Bitches.

No 2nd chance

Holding hands at the beach. Feet in the grainy land.
Now distant memories I can’t fight off. I’m trapped in the quicksand.
You and him took my heart. I still haven’t found it. Maybe it’ll wash ashore.
Even if I find it. It’s been forever branded with my initials and yours.
Corny I know. But it’s there if you look.
Everyone’s supposed to deserve a 2nd chance. So I hope it’s only a matter of time before you take my hand for this dance.
I wanna feel the thrill. The chills. What you gave to me…
No one will.

“by my own accord i can’t accept it”

I still have nightmares about you. I wished they’d stop. I have deja vu A LOT. I don’t see these coming true though. Thus, they are nightmares.

I love you. But I don’t see a miracle on the horizon. Yet I can’t shake it. Hopeless.
I want(ed) to love you. But miscommunication, or lack thereof, seemed to derail us (story of my fuckin life). I thought maybe we could pick up where we left off. But you “can’t”… :\ guess not.
I used to love you. But that was YEARS ago. And although I’m glad you’ve found your way back into my life. It’s just not going past where it’s at. (but the piercing down below was a welcome surprise)

3 strikes. I’m out.

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