This seems to be the new theme. (the title, not the song. The song is for nostalgia)
It’s definitely my fault. Well with you it was more you. At the end at least. I will apologize for my actions (some of them). I will not apologize for my feelings here. There. Or over there. All I can do at this point is wait. No moves to make. I don’t believe though. But my dude, he believes. I don’t know why, but he does. I appreciate it. I don’t really feed of his hope for me. I can’t do that to myself. I’ll keep my hopes and dreams though. Just maybe I can attain them. The flights of fancy get me through the day. The only peaceful place is within my dreams. I awaken to sorrow. The exercise. The music. The healthier living. It’s all just a distraction, until my next bit of sleep. I always say I wish I would die. I don’t really want to die. I’m definitely not scared to. I’m semi serious about wanting to die young, but that’s contingent upon my happiness. I don’t wish to become a delusional aging man wallowing in sadness. There’s plenty of things that bring me a burst of joy. Like a drug. Then I come down. Time to relive the pain. I want that thing that intoxicated me from the first second. And to this day drives me crazy. Insane. THAT is what I’m looking for. I know where it is. It’s whether or not I’ll be able to reattain such the glory.
BananaClipse 