why
I want to keep it.
But it’ll be like we never existed
But they kept finding each other.
There was always SOMETHING in the back of their minds they couldn’t quite figure.
I imagine that’s how it’ll be for me. Something in the back of my mind…
So I guess this is day 1. Or does tomorrow count as day 1? *shrugs* either way….
meet me in floss angeles[montauk]
I’ve explained basketball and football in depth to 3 ex gf’s. Fuckin 3!!!! Ridiculous. Pisses me off to no end that I nurtured them and their love for these sports (especially football) and I can’t reap the benefits!!! Idk if i have the patience to keep doing this… I wish you’d come back so we can watch the games again…. Then I got another NFL catalog. Saw this DOPE jacket. Thought “she’d look great in this”. Smh tragic… I wonder How long before you threw out that hoodie….
Damn I’ve explained boxing and MMA too. Don’t you deny my influence. FML! I’ll never win….
I was thinking of all the great meals I can make with bacon or add copious amounts of bacon to. Then I remembered the chat I had with beast yesterday about me becoming a fat tub of lard. No bacon. For at least a month. Time for this diet and workout regimen. Like I was doin back in 08. No soda. No candies. Less butter. Less red meats. More water. More chickens. More TOTAL! it might not be so bad. But the devil is everywhere. Tempting me with his delicious foods.
And when I deserve it in a month’s (or 2) time. I will reward myself with MY version of ‘The Luther’… God help us all.
It seems like the closer we get, its more distance
More angles, a million different looks
Was on the same page, just in different books
theres so much i want to say but i got no ground
cause we ain’t break up, more like broke down
now that’s pain and torture
none of this is how we planned it to be
one big insanity plea
shit could never end amicably
I miss you trying
you probably think don’t think I try too
when you stubborn and prideful
not much is insightful
but God was trying to show me something He aint think that I knew
sometimes shit that doesn’t breathe can die too
How we go from thoughts of marriage
Thoughts of me copping carrots
But when the dream stopped, who knew you’d see me like a savage
That you dreamt of vacations, but only woke up with baggage
All you ever did was love me, and look at where it got you
And when you wanted more, all I did was say I’m not you
I’m selfish not selfless, and I say that with love
so in essence you’re asking for what I’m incapable of
so now I find I’m going over choices I ain’t even made yet
were we clouded by GOOD TIMES and GREAT SEX?
running fast towards an unknown fate
that altered when I introduced you to my unknown traits
in your dreams, seems you had me pegged as another man
but in mine, ONLY YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND
IN OUR MINDS WE WERE PERFECT
we witnessed our dream get murdered
now reality is on trial and we both awaiting the verdict
But you’ll always be close to me
though you said this ain’t how it’s supposed to be
WHAT WE HAD WAS SO REAL
but you said i don’t care
never thought this day would come
you said you gave your all and was left with none
but we can both be spared
but you don’t think thats fair, thats fair
[I] lost track of all the little things that [YOU] admired
but when the peace left, I knew we might retire
got memories, but at what point are they lost
we shoulda never rushed
cause it’s like now we at a point where you won’t never trust
and for me I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT’S ALL WE EVER WAS
the high’s gone, need a better buzz
Cause we sleep in the same bed, but we never touch
my solution to every beef is to revisit
though we’ll have the same emotions we won’t be so livid
won’t be so vivid
we don’t need those critics
we owe it to go over our foundation with a keen eye
sad part to say you never have the same dream twice
we let love and all its possibility
take us from reality
made it hard to see that
we were bound together
just to cover up the pain
I’m wishing the skies were rain
and WIPE ALL MY THOUGHTS AWAY
CAUSE I’M TIRED OF DREAMING
“[you said] You love me for me could you be more phoney”
Funny to know what you really think. Moreso how you tell it (your side). But smile in my face. It’s cool. I’ll just love you, and cherish the good times. No use dwelling on the bad and what’s gone.
I thought about that statement again.
I mean we are/were so similar. In mindset. Humor. Likes. Dislikes. Damage. Dreams. And the list goes on. I mean sure it is/was plenty differences (keeps things spicy & opens new lanes). But we really could have had it all. FUCK YOU
First off. I don’t expect shit from no one! Wait that’s a lie. I expect everyone to let me down.
So when my bday rolled around. I KNEW they would. BUT I been on a positivity kick. So I thought. Let’s give them a chance. Mind you. I asked for NOTHING. They came at me with tales of taking me out and gifts. Names are not necessary.
But every last person who opened they mouth did not follow thru. Big surprise right? Still. Why even bother to tell me such things if you’re not gonna follow up? Oh well.
Shouts to Fresco. He followed through. But he followed through on nothing. He just came through. And THAT is why he is my best friend. Straight up. Although he did get a noise complaint lol. My nigga though. He down for me more than ‘friends’ of 10+ years!! You know how long I’ve known fresco? Family.
*my bday was monday if you’re confused
Text of truthness I received:
“Tht night _____ got super salty cuz she thought u were trying to get at her homegirl ____ was fuckin wit”
Lmao. Go on head and do you babygirl. I love you. *walks off laughing*
I have NEVER deleted your messages. (not on purpose at least). Since the beginning. I thought my phone froze when I did. Then I checked my memory it gave me 25+ mb of space! Fuckin crazy.
I was gonna GO IN on some shit. But why? Say what you mean and mean what you say. You told me that. A lot. So just prolly follow that like you told me. You need a ‘double life’ post. Stay frontin. But even after all that….
I love you. I know it means absolutely nothing to you. But I love you.
BananaClipse 