Category: inside the mind of the insane

inside the mind of the insane

LostSoul(ful)

It’s time to go
Put the lights out
Put My light out
Put my life out
Tired of the pain.
Constant disdain
Life since you will never be the same
Can’t find the good. Can’t see the upside
Half empty? Try the glass is broken and everything’s gone
Don’t have the strength to move on
But I have the will to end it all
Mind’s in a constant free fall.
Heart vs brain in a free for all
For who gets to take me away
To the land of true freedom
The dark abyss from which there’s no return
The devil lives within me. My soul he’s burned
I live an internal hell
I’m ready to visit for real.
The place in which I’ll forever dwell
Land of the lost souls
The place of my creation.
Where I’m next in line as the leader of the damned nation
Tortured soul that can never find happiness
You were just apart of my life to further bring down
Lead me deeper to the dark side to bear my crown
My true calling.
Found.

You. Me. We?

Quotes my work on tweeter but ignores my texts
I been tryin to give her my heart but she doesn’t want it
Leaves me a mess
Thought she was the next
She was until she wasn’t cuz she pulled away
Left me vexed
I’m still reaching out hoping there’s even a sliver left
What we had was REAL. A connection.
Deeper than flesh
Our hearts and minds meshed.
left me and my emotions high and dry
Thought there was an US on the horizon
Instead it was ME. And then there was YOU.
Separate entities. Occasionally together
But never 1.
Only 2.
You’re off on your journey. But I still long for you
I thought you’d be apart of mine..
I mean you were. If only briefly.
That’s not enough for me
So I guess it’s just you being you and me being me
Never a we
When will my heart be free?

Split screen madness

When it’s gone. It’s gone
No coming back
Only looking back
When I should be facing forward
I’m walking backwards to the future.
You see I’m still moving forward
I’m just hoping I see you coming back
But we’re on a different path
My best bet is to about face and hope we cross again.
Maybe we can get back on track and continue our journey
Love is forever. In one shape or form.
When I say it I mean it
When I said it I meant it
Forever? Not that long. Relative to our life span
But forever? That’s the rest of lives! Damn!
I still mean it
You meant it
The going got tough and then we stopped going
We both gave up too soon.
Still not healed from the wounds

My son

3yrs young when we met
19yrs your senior
Wasn’t before long she started seeing you as my junior.
Took me some time to see myself in you.
But you took to me like glue
I didn’t want to get involved
although I was selfish. I was also scared.
I didn’t want to fall in love with you and then abandon you.
As had been done to me.
You told me you love me first.
My heart burst
Caught off guard.
But you said it as though you had said it a million times
No big deal
I felt butterflies.
While she cried
By my side
Our bond even made her jealous at times
But really I could see the joy in her eyes
We held hands at the beach.
You gave me kisses on my cheek.
Asked me carry you
Wrestled. Fought. Punched each other
Boys will be boys
Played too much in public much the disdain of your mother
You stood by me during the lonliness
I didn’t ask.
Somehow you just knew.
You always knew.
You knew I loved her.
You knew you mattered.
You thought I mattered.
You knew I loved you.
Sought my attention
My approval
Constantly reminding of things I taught you
Me & her
You & her
Me & you
All 3 of us.
In the end the hardest part was leaving you
I may never see you again.
But I will be here always.
Whatever you need. Whenever you need.
Out the blue. Years away. I’ll be here.
For you.
I was supposed to raising you! Well,WE were supposed to raise you.
You were mine! All mine.
In my heart. Till the end of time.

I killed me

Sometimes I just wanna talk you
I wanna call you
Hang with you
Sure we joke and keep it friendly
And even though you know.
I wanna tell you how I feel.
In hopes that you still feel the same.
You don’t.
You have my heart. I’m at peace with that
But why must my mind attack itself
Filled with these thoughts
For a minute I got past it.
And when I felt GOOD, when I felt BETTER
It all came back.
I closed my eyes. I saw you. I killed me
For what? For why?
Nothing.
How could you infect my system in such a short time?
You’re my drug of choice
And my withdrawals are never ending
I miss the euphoria when you pumped thru my veins
You made it all better
I couldn’t feel the pain
Stole my heart. Imprisoned my brain.
Do we still have a spark? Let alone a flame?

Will I ever be?

It’s cool that you believe in my dream with me
Believe in my dream for me
But everything must go
It’s been time to let go
I’m just not ready.
Will I ever be?
I tried to take a leap
But she wasn’t ready
It’s partly my fault
But I like to blame you for providing me with the false hope
Although we weren’t in the clear. You sure acted like it
Only to drop me quicker than a bad habit
Leavin me further in doubt
Still Wearing fresh scars from her. And now new ones from you
Pain from 2
And I’m only 1.
I’m still trying to overcome
I thought it was weakness.
I’m beginning to think it was a strong move to be give myself to you. And YOU
Where the weakness came was losing myself in you
But I never expected to lose YOU.
And I thought you were the new.
Attachment breeds expectation
So now I must keep a distance
I will not lose it again
At least not while I try and find YOU.
I find solace in my dreams which are more like nightmares
Taunting me with happy good times
I’m the beautiful boogie man
Haunting my own sleep so I can find something to live for…
You….

Can’t win with you

I can’t win with you
But I’m just trying to win with you
Hold hands. walk the dog. Kiss you.
Remember the first time you called me ‘babe’? Out the blue
First time I thought there’d be an US
You asked about her but I was focused on us
If I had answered you we would have built that trust
Instead we crumbled just as fast as we got close
I was confused but had to accept it
Doesn’t mean I forgot or chose to neglect it
And now I’m here trying to resurrect it
You keep a certain distance; I don’t respect it
I’ma tear that wall down if I get my say
Hopefully soon… Eventually…. One day….

Design a site like this with WordPress.com
Get started