inside the mind of the insane
I’m not even gonna break it down. She knows.
“But you’ll always be close to me
though you said this ain’t how it’s supposed to be
WHAT WE HAD WAS SO REAL
but you said i don’t care
never thought this day would come
you said you gave your all and was left with none
but we can both be spared
but you don’t think thats fair, thats fair”
On my mind again
Ruling my world
As you have for so long
From the moment we went our separate ways
My mind has been gone
I haven’t looked for my sanity
Only searching for you
Is there a correlation between my insanity and my search?
Am I driving myself to the edge?
Or is it that IF we ever cross paths then I’ll be at ease ?
Can I hold on long enough to find out?
Can I let go of you long enough to see?
Does even matter? To me? Yes. To you? Idk.
I’d hope it would.
Even though you have another.
I’m searching for a way to find another..
Chance.
With you.
Beach. No sun. Moonlight. Took a dip. Now Staring at the water. It doesn’t hurt when I think about you anymore. But I STILL miss you like fuckin crazy. And you’re constantly on my mind. But at least it doesn’t hurt anymore. Sometimes.
‘Love you. Night.’
That’s all it took. To send my mind into a frenzy
First time you said It (without adding platonic LMAO) in… Well I can’t remember. Some time last year.
First read. I was confused. And although I’ve been LONGING for that to be said; no warm fuzz. Just acceptance. And smile. I really hope you meant it. And that’s just that. No extras. I miss you. It’s ALWAYS fun when we hang out. Sure I miss you in gay way too but that’s not at all what I’m talking about. We just always vibe and connect on another level. I miss that the most.
*I’ve prolly read into this waaay too much. Oh well. Just my crazy thought process. I’m going to sleep now. Hopefully. Prolly not tho
“demons on my right angels on my left feel like I got no life. Damn man I’m loveless.
High off the happiness I was far from the ground. I fell in the pool of misery, I fuckin drowned.
The thoughts kill me more so I hate to reflect.
But I can’t help it it’s the only thing on my mind
Tap me in my heart and whisper to me ‘we ain’t meant to be’.
Out of time. See reality and I pretend I’m blind. Overdose on memories till my shit is flatlined. But how can I be down when in reality YOU WASN’T MiNE.
Yeah I never had you but I swear I was getting close. Yeah I let you gas me up and that just gave me motivation to keep chasing you like my life depended on it
IT FEEL GOOD TO CRUSH A NIGGA SOUL BITCH DON’T IT!?
and this might be feelings I’m feeling for the moment. But what’s a moment when you FEELIN THIS SHIT EVERY MORNIN
I close my eyes and see visions in my head. Visions of me not livin or me livin with the dead
I just lay here with unachieved goals in my bed
Thinkin bout the greatness that I will never see
YOU TOOK ME FROM THE REALITY OF HOW MUCH I HATE BEING ME…”
RyshonJones
Ha! I used to be the ‘beastslayer’ lol
I long for the depression cuz at least I’ll feel something
Happiness is gone so I’m in a state nothing
I tried hating you.
I tried hating me
Now I’m praying to a god who I don’t believe
Take me into the dark or to where my mind is finally free
This is not where I’m supposed to be
This is not what I need
If I can’t find you how can I follow your lead?
I’m blindfolded traveling in uncharted waters
Thus far the new path has lead me to nowhere
I lied everytime I said I don’t care
My buzz in coming down
That means I’m wanting YOU
No more drugs for me to drown
So baby where are YOU?
With him
And my love’s meant nothing to you for very long
And though you’ve been gone
Your grip on me is still very strong
I’ve stopped fighting it
Goin with the flow.
I pray for death knowing I’ll never let you go
No more fantasy
Done with delusions of grandeur
Enough flights of fancy
Time to face reality
I’m alone on this road.
And there’s no path to you
I have to find another reason to live before I become consumed
It seems I’m too late
Already doomed
BananaClipse 