inside the mind of the insane
Bet you’ll never guess who comes to mind EVERYTIME I hear them lyrics from this song. (really though. No sarcasm. You wouldn’t be able to guess who…)
I need you to get out. I need you to dig deep inside yourself and let it ALL out.
When you need someone to lean on. People are there. we’re all here for you. Figure it out. Cuz I need you to be great. I need you to break out. I need you to be over the moon. Within yourself! I want you to be happy. Not just happy. But HAPPY! I saw the pain. I suffered with you. I’ll suffer for you. As long as you continue to grow, leave it all behind and let go. You gotta figure it out though. And find an outlet. I’ve seen every beautiful part of you, and it’s never gonna sit well with me that you’re not where you should be. My business or not (not). 1 step at a time. Little by little. I’m sure you’ll get it. I’m not worried. I’d just like to hear that you’re doing fucking INCREDIBLE outside and IN.
Te quiero mucho
If you look on the right. That Wasted Talent ‘banner’. Click it. And purchase a very inspiring body of work. This is NOT a solicitation post. This book further inspired my writing. He has given me plenty of advice (thru the magic of tweeter). Most of which amounts to me letting go and living thru the pen. Pain, suffering etc. Must be fought thru. So I can rightfully express myself whether I’m sharing or not.
Continue reading “Journeys of a writer”
Were under the stars. Your eyes are like the moon. Light twinkles off you then we make contact. There’s no one else in the room. Put your head in my chest looking for my embrace. I comply. Our love is perfect. I’m ready to die. Us together. Too fuckin fly. Forever was in our hearts. NEVER to say goodbye. So many reasons to stay. So many reasons to go. Broken promises abound. Love lost it’s glow.
Talked to my boss at work. About a lot of things. She def made me appreciate the things beast and SwaggedOutP did for me. Miss you…. And she told me bout her (failing) marriage. I give it a year. Sad. Talked about her chirrens. Of course made me miss 4-5… I just rather enjoyed the conversation. Even if she interrupted my nap. Lol.
**it’s someone bday today. I cant remember who. So merry bday whoever you are.
My heart’s on strings and she knows just the ones to pull
I been tryin to write ‘us’ off like that was just a bunch of bull
Such a fool. For you. Cuz I keep waiting
Putting myself thru the ringer heart slowly deflating
Somehow you always pick it back up at just the right time
I love that you can read my mind
Or is it just a feeling?
She maybe you just don’t know and it’s just coincidence that you give me that healing
I may never have your heart but you surely possess mine
For reason at this moment that’s just fine
Cuz I’ve thrown myself out there to the mercy of the gods.
For even a sliver of hope. for the tiniest piece of you
I once had the whole thing. So now anything will do
Losing my mind. Tearing myself apart. For you
Even when I next to you were miles apart.
Somehow I need to get closer.
Even one step is a start.
Sometimes it hurts to write. But it’s where we can let go of ours fears. Confront ourselves. Live out the dream. Express the pain. Beg for forgiveness. It took me a while to learn the whole ‘say what you mean and mean what you say’. Too little too late. They say it’s never too late. But it is for us. For me.
Rummaging thru old emails looking for something I thought I emailed myself. It’s amazing how many things I think I email myself to check later then find out later I didn’t follow thru. Anyway. I come across another one of YOUR old emails. I’m not surprised these still exist as we sent so many back and forth. Anywho. Of course I open it. And there it is. THAT FUCKING SMILE. That beautiful ray of sunshine. That light up your soul, steal your breath, make you fall in love smile. It’s always been my favorite. *nostalgic sigh*
I don’t think you was ever fuckin with me like that. And whatever ‘feelings’ you possess(ed) don’t mean shit. Cuz you ain’t trying to act on em. I was just a place holder. Ima hold my tongue on some other shit. And hell I could be wrong but seriously doubt it. It’s a fuckin shame too, cuz me and you fucking connect. You know it.
Such a barren wasteland love is. I don’t think Love is meant for me. I’m not meant to be loved. I’m meant to love others without reciprocation. I had a small taste of forever. Haven’t been able to let go since
My homegirl child bday is today (the 1st) sidebar: I know like 28283 ppl with August Bdays. Not all you fags are getting gifts… Anyway. Lucky little nigga gets that car to cruise in and get bitches.
I think a lot of where I am today is not because of understanding. It’s because of acceptance. Acceptance has furthered my growth. Was very hard. Still is. But I’ll win. Cuz I HAVE to make it..
I have some good people around me. People that care, but you all will never know what goes on in my mind. I say I don’t trust ANYONE for a reason.
All these @Rochelle_Jordan tracks I BEEN had are starting to drop. Bout time. (and Maddy a MF liar sayin he had heard a track I played when it didn’t drop till yesterday…)
With all this dope music around. I’m back in my mode of ‘I don’t wanna listen to any of this shit’. Meaning it’s a very select few things I wanna hear at specific times. sometimes I just have shuffle on cuz I hate sitting in silence.
“you took me from the reality of how much I hate being me”
So POWERFUL.
BananaClipse 