So I just found out there’s a final mix version of Joey’s All Of Me. Called All Of Me (Reprise). Love that mix man. So clean. Anyway. Instead of one SUPER DUPER LONG post. I wanna do several short but maybe still relatively long posts. This is part one. And oh. They’ll be out of order. That’s ok. If you read them all you’ll get it… Let’s go
Category: inside the mind of the insane
inside the mind of the insane
(Electric) Relaxation
My mind was all over the place today. I was thinking of EVERYTHING at once. I am now composed. Relaxed. I’ve separated them all. I see where they overlap. I see where they intersect. And I see what I need to do. More of some of this later tonight. I’m working grave tonight and I think I may want to put a little extra thought in what will surely be a drawn out post.
You already got me up!
Can’t sleep. Thinkin about you. I hope you’re alright. That you’ll be ok. Just realized as much as I love you and want to help you. There are some things you have to figure out on your own. I just hope you allow me to be by your side on the journey.
Fall
Why am I doin this to myself? Why am I putting up with it? Why do I want it? All the baggage?
Cuz it’s YOU. It’s all you. I know you. It feels right. You know it does. The tears say a lot. They show the love. The passion. The caring. All the things that you supposedly have run dry of. We’ll build. TOGETHER. We already have a strong foundation. We’re only gonna reinforce it before we build the monument that is our love. Slowly. And surely. Who knows maybe it’ll progress better than we think. You reached a little further and now look ?! In such a short time. Now reach a little more. I promise I won’t let you fall. wait. I lied. Cuz you are gonna fall. For me. Then we’ll walk hand in hand fighting for our dreams. So what do you say wonder woman? I say Let’s GO *puts out hand*
She is
She is the world.
She is life.
She is love.
She is motivation.
She is desire.
She is struggle.
She is amazing.
She is caring.
She is warm.
She is crazy.
She is intelligent.
She is independent.
She is emotional.
She is worthy.
She is beautiful.
She is everything.
And I love all that she is…
Is it love?
Is it possible to love her more? I mean FUCK! that conversation was amazing. Enlightening. Refreshing. I wish it never ended (stupid jasmine). It’ll continue though. It was a RE-connect. the realizations. The changes. The new mindsets. I’ve longed for that kind of feeling. That connection. Go figure where it was found. And the TANGENTS. the tangents just pushed us to new ideas. A new conversation within the current cloud of ideas and conversation. Amazing. Truly incredible.
Definitely one of my favorite times with you EVER. Hope it continues tonight… But I’ll settle for tomorrow 😉
Visions in Death’s cousin
Had a dream I was sleep. You tried to sneak into the bed. Woke me. I started to say something. You told me to shut up. Snuggled in. Grabbed my hand. We proceeded to visit Death’s cousin. I then woke up abruptly. Looked at the time. 456. What a fucking coincidence (what does it mean? [Lol I hope you all get that reference!]) I always have MAD déjà vu. Maybe all these dreams aint mean. Nothing after. Cuz I had dreams of the failure. Hmmmm…. Naw they don’t mean shit. Nice to dream though.. One day…
Zombie Pam
that post I mentioned yesterday, remember? Doesn’t matter. After the cut if you care.
Continue reading “Zombie Pam”
Your best shot
Can I love you?
Should I love you?
Will you love me too?
Can you prove your intentions are true
It’s not that I’m scared it’s that scarred.
So while I’m not fighting for you, I’m also not fighting you off
So the ball’s in your court
I’m waiting for you to make a move
But don’t forget the clock’s ticking
So are you gonna take a shot you intend make?
Or throw up a prayer and see if I answer it?
I promise I won’t.
I deserve so much more
So if it’s not your best shot just put down the ball and walk away
I don’t just wear my heart on my sleeve.
Shit, it’s more like a sweater.
I’ll gladly take it off and hand it over to keep you warm
exposing the scars, will you heal my wounds?
First things first. Grab my hand and let’s walk under the moon.
It’s always about you
Even when it’s not. =\ I mean why would be about anyone or anything else for that matter? It’s not like I haven’t been planning on being a better person all along. I wanted to for myself. But I NEEDED to for you. Then I didn’t do it for either reason until after. When it was far too late for you. As for me? Well considering it’s all about you. It’s too late for me. Very well it shouldn’t be. Shit, it isn’t. But that is surely how it feels. Fresco and Meka are proud of where I’ve come. No matter the circumstance. Considering those are the only two people with whom I’m completely honest about my feelings, that’s something I should also be proud of. I can’t help but feel like my actions are ingenuine. Most of this came after conversations with you. No one can destroy me like you. No one can put me over the moon like you. And there’s no one I genuinely love conversing with, about ANYTHING, more than you. I guess I’m still adjusting to fact that we do not exist, in any capacity, in the other’s world. Something happened recenty that only you’d appreciate as I did. Guess what? I couldn’t hit you about it. So I just had to snicker and keep it moving. I’ll just have to continue growing. And moving forward. Despite the onslaught on setbacks that continue coming my way. I’ve accepted my fate. But I still aspire to accomplish my goals. Especially the new ones on plate. I’ll measure my success based on the relative happiness I achieve in life. When asked at 15 years of age what my life goal was, I said: “to be happy”. I was there. Just not for long. Let’s try sustained happiness. I love you.
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