Am I scared to let go? What happens when I let go? My mind will be free right? But what then?
Am I so scared of not having to feel love? Me loving you. Longing. Dreaming. Wishing. Praying. Even though you don’t give a fuck about me. Am I scared to start fresh? I’m alone. You’re gone. LONG gone. BEEN gone. I’m still in this quicksand. Fresco has long been my enabler (kinda. Well not really). He’s trying to save me from myself. But can anyone really? Do I want help? I want a shoulder to cry on. Someone to listen. So I can let it all out. All the pain within. All the hurt. Show you my scars. I don’t want to love another. Love is all powerful. And so meaningless. At least I’ve been told mine is. Along with unwanted. And worthless. Scars. Deep wounds. Words that penetrated my soul. The first cut is the deepest. My heart is the weakest. I have no idea where I’m going or what I’m doing. I just know I feel trapped. By my mind. By my heart.
‘to be without it… Is too much’
BananaClipse 