Month: May 2015

Romaticizing…

There’s a lot of people who think still Loving/being in Love with an ex is romanticizing the past. Loving a memory. But you ever stop to think that it’s just unreciprocated unconditional Love? Because I do. I know that mine is, at least. And if you Love(d) me like you said, well, you still have it in your heart. You just deny it. To protect your magic. I cannot fault you for that. Not in the least. We have destroyed ourselves for each other. That’s the ugly side of it. The beautiful side is undeniable. But if I’m wrong about you? Then our Love was NEVER gonna last. I don’t think I am. Though, it is irrelevant. We are where we are now. Worlds apart. Never to communicate again. Dare I say, even crossing paths is extremely unlikely. The world is so small, but large enough to hide in, if you choose to do so. I’ve never chosen to hide and am not now. I’m not just nostalgic for our past selves and romanticizing that Love. Every time we reconnected, we fell in Love, again. Even while we both, admittedly, never fell out of Love. Just patience. So, with that, our Love is/was unconditional. Maybe we could’ve and could still make it work. Who knows. But the message is that the Love was and is REAL. Faults and mistakes and everything in between. I’ll never be ashamed to say that I still Love you. I Love you

Pesdilla favorita

Another day

Another dream
It seems I’m still caught in the vicious cycle
You’re gone
Been gone
Alas, this time you won’t be back
I know this. 
Yet my subconscious feels the need to remind me
Almost daily
And surely vividly
Most of the time it’s not even a Love filled reunion
Just an awkward passing by
I know where you are in my heart 
I don’t need some cruel reminder every night when my body is rejuvenating
At least this fantasy didn’t come with a side of depression this time around
It’s not even a longing. 
I just miss you
I spend all day occupying my mind
pushing any stray thoughts of you to the back
They choose a hell of a way to manifest
One night I was able to wake myself up mid dream
I didn’t want to get wrapped up in one of those feel EVERYTHING lucid movies
I don’t know if I could’ve made it back from my mind tricking me into feeling your warmth again
Well “warmth”
The cold is cruel and awakening. 
But sometimes very refreshing. 
I’ll find some balance 
As your real warmth is no longer here to blanket me
I must create my own 
So I guess I’ll just see you later
In my dreams
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