I know why I’ve felt off. Why I’ve been a up and down of late. I don’t think I’m wrong to have any of these thoughts or concerns. Not one bit. However, I can’t believe I did it again. Should’ve known better. I’ll dig myself out. But to be fair to myself, it goes both ways. So it’s not entirely like I just did it on purpose. But I shouldn’t have let myself fall into that cycle. Be strong!
Category: inside the mind of the insane
inside the mind of the insane
Awake.
Laid awake half the night. A slave to my thoughts. Waiting for the darkness to consume me. Not even the darkness wants to get twisted in a war with my over active mind. Only conclusion I came to is: what’s next?
Now that you’re finally here. I have this fear that you’re gonna leave again. Sometimes, it consumes me.
What if this…
This isn’t for me anymore?
Funny
We both we wanted to hear from one another. Yet we both waited for the other to make the first move. Idiots! Lol. We’re ALWAYS HERE.
In each other
You got me smilin just because
Who cares if the clouds blocking the sun
I care not of the distance between us.
In our hearts we’re always side by side
Supporting and uplifting
Souls intertwined
We couldn’t escape the promise of a lifetime
So we’ve been givin another lifeline
We had to grow apart to grow together
This time. We found forever
Right in front of our faces; it had been where it always was
In each other.
This how the convo went
Me: what’s the story with her? *points to C’s friend*
C: I’m not gonna get involved in this
Me: why not?
C: Because, what about J?
Me: there’s no guarantees. I could be stuck in the cold forever
C: but that’s who you want, yeah?
Me: that’s all I want
C: ok then. That’s why.
Me: ok *C’s friend no longer exists to me*
Remember that conversation? Not THAT ONE ^^^^ but the one WE had? Well, I think I’m fully embracing who I am now. For better or worse. Here I am.
Not yet. At least I hope not.
“All the signs seem to say love is lost
I don’t wanna give up yet because…”
“Maybe you could stay a bit longer
Or I could try a bit harder
We could make it work”
But maybe we should stop pretending
We both know we’re hurting
Maybe it’s time to go”
I choose option 1 Emeli. But the choice has never really been mine to make. Either way. I’ll be HERE.
It’s obvious we love each other we just do it differently.
There will be no 2nd chances.
I shoulda got it right the first time.
I feel hollow. Empty.
Not sad or depressed. Not happy
I feel nothing.
Prolly why I felt the need to rock a hoodie and a backpack. Security blanket. Comfort.
I’ll figure it out
BananaClipse 