Last time I had a seizure the doctor wouldn’t let me work for a week. I thought it was stupid. Now that I’m back at work 36hrs after this last harlem shake. I completely understand why they made me wait. I’m struggling. It’s mental exhaustion. I’ll stop whining now. Cuz yall prolly like ‘you fuckin bitch you shoulda just died’. *goes back to work*
Category: LOSS
I had another seizure last night
But during it I was awake. But I couldn’t do anything. Trapped. And I stopped breathing. I thought I was gonna die. The reality is, anytime I have one I could die. Made it thru this time …..
Afterwards I was shook. I wanted to hit you up for comfort. With the thoughts and possible death I could only think of you. Even tho people were with me. But I Didn’t…. Still shook
Dream states
If you’re interested to know what Beast hittin me up meant to me and my thoughts on the way to work at 530am then hit the cut.
Leave me alone. Please
Everyone is asking me about YOU (beast). Thurzday (he remembered you from the SD show), guess I never told him we were splitsville. Good friend thurz is tho. Just seeing if I got what I was after. Meka asked. Again seeing how I was. And even fuckin Swagged out P asked. I can’t escape you. Fuck me. I don’t exist to you. But somehow some way you make it back to my life….forever in my heart.
Still drowning
In the bottle. Still can’t run from it. Shoulda said my goodbye at RTB. Now we don’t talk and I’ll never get my wish…..
Shit a year ago WE were planning my great escape aka the Great mistake. I’m still stuck. You’re long gone. Since moved on. I can’t even appreciate the good. But don’t act like we weren’t fuckin fly. You’re bitter cuz you were ALL in(just like me!) Don’t front on nigga…..act like you never considered coming back….. Lost dreams… I love you
Blame game
Who’s fault
Let’s play the blame game I love you, more
I hate you, more
I call you bitch for short
At the end of it you know we BOTH were wrong
I’d rather argue with you than be with someone else
I took a piss and dismiss it like fuck it and went and found somebody else
Fuck arguin or harvestin the feelings yo I’d rather be by my-fuckin-self
Till about 2am and I call back and I hang up and I start to blame myself
Somebody help
You wasn’t perfect but you made life worth it, stick around some real feelings might surface
Been a long time since I spoke to you
What the hell was I supposed to do I know you ain’t gettin this type of dick from that local dude
I was satisfied being in love with the lie
Who the blame you the blame we the blame for the pain
Things used to be and now they not
Anything but US is who we are
We walk away like strangers in the street, gone for eternity we erase one another
So far we came, with so much of everything. How did we leave with nothing?
Hatred and attitude tear us entirely
I can’t love you this much, no I can’t love you this much
I know you was somewhere doin ya thing
*you get the message
**my fav song on MBDTF at the moment
RIP
Someone dropped milk on my shoes. Been very upset and irritated since it happened. *moment of slience*
The great escape to prison
Had another nightmare. Me and you. So true. Brain strangled. Woke up. Warm body beside me. It’s not you. I’ll guess I have to make due. My dreams will never come true.
I told you. Long after you’ve moved on to better and bigger things. The things you deserve. I’ll still be here. I’m a speck of dust in your life. But you. YOU. You’re everything.
Cupcakin
I was talkin to Fresco earlier (before my phone died). And he was tellin me that he was on the phone with some chick, or what have you, last night. I was like ‘awww you was cupcakin’. He was like ‘yeah’ in a ‘you caught me but fuck it’ tone. Then he was like ‘wait nigga, you makin fun of me? You gave up your life for someone’. And although he was jokin. He was right, and it hurt. Cuz ultimately I gave up everything for you. And came out with nothing. Winner winner?
Merry Bday
To my auntie. Hope your soul has found peace. You are missed dearly.
Another year another memory:
When I was young my auntie asked what I wanna be when I grow up. I said pro ball player (basketball). She told me I was stupid too small and it’d never happen. I was def down after hearing that. Then she told me to follow my dreams no matter anyone says. Even her. To go after whatever is I want. I may fail but I still have to put forth my best efforts. Tore me down, then lifted me right back up. I love you.
BananaClipse 