inside the mind of the insane
They asked. So I answered:
My guess is that we’ll be saying goodbye long before we (re)ignite another flame. But I’ve been wrong about HER before. So who the fuck even knows and what’s the point? It’s torture either way. And the good (based) lawd knows I Love it. Torture. Pain. Love. It’s all the same thing. Even when it’s good. Especially when it’s bad. And with HER the pain is the best.
[7/13/13]
As I drive the sleep/drunk bday girl home. I have MY tunes in the speakers. And the thoughts begin. And who else but YOU running through my mind. I can’t seem to catch up. All I can think is I gotta. You’re my road runner. Right in front of me. Forever out of my grasp.
It’s not time yet. I’m not ready. Although I’ve thought about it more lately. And it terrifies me to no end. This can’t be what comes of it. *sigh* there’s more. I know there’s more.
To stand next to you is torture.
To look into your eyes is agony.
To feel your embrace is to rip apart my soul
Love is cruel and unusual punishment.
And I savor every last drop of the pain
“I didn’t find the perfect moment, because I think today was about just having today. And I think we are one of those couples with a long story when people ask how we found each other. I will see her every now and then, and maybe one year, she’ll be with somebody, and the next year, I’ll be with somebody and it’s gonna take a long time. And then it’s perfect. I’m in no rush”
It’s almost sublime and perfect that this came out of Michael Scott’s mouth.
Ps. I still coming for you. But you know this don’t you? 😉
I never thought about sharing the new one. Not even with the person I am writing it to but with a certain person requesting to, I just might. I’ll share it with her then send it to the person it is meant for. And when I feel comfortable. With the rest of yous. Maybe it might inspire you. I know my words will fall on deaf ears (I’m not stupid, well actually yeah I am) but would I be a hopeless romantic if I didn’t send it?
Me and my pal (who’s currently stationed in NY) suffer a lot of the same afflictions in the game of Love. For better or worse we just want each other to win. It’s funny when speaking about our (lost) Loves. We don’t divulge too much info about our respective HERs. What we do KNOW and divulge is how WE feel and are affected on the daily by what have and/or don’t have. Even if I feel like I’m losing the battle (I undoubtably am. There’s no question. The only question is whether to keep plodding on despite the obvious or throwing in the towel, which I’m so close to doing but this rant is a whole ‘notha post /rant) it’s comforting to know folk knows exactly how I feel. And luckily when one of us is having a particularly tough day, well the other isn’t, at least not when we reach out. He won’t let me quit either. We’ve come too far. I hope that one day we both find peace. Cuz this madness can’t last forever. Can it?
*Love to olwhatshername for sending this artist my way last year.
So much good shit taking place right now. And I can’t even talk about most it. Crazy. Soon tho. Soon.
…But I still need to, why is that?”
If we’re Jerry & Elaine what’s it gonna take to cross the barrier? (Near) plane crash? Fuck it. Let’s get on a plane.
BananaClipse 