I believe(d)

***I’ve been out with the flu. Still battling it. I hope I don’t die. At least not yet**

Do you believe me when I say that from the beginning of the end I didn’t believe?
That I never had any real hope.
Not until 2 random days this past December did I have real hope
What does that say about me?
What has all this been ?
A coping mechanism?
A way to express myself in ways I’ve never expressed myself before.
Maybe all my damage built up and broke me.
And that ended with us.
Now I’m ready to rebuild.
Piece myself together.
Grow bigger than anyone ever imagined
Attain success that I never dreamed of.
But only now is it that I truly miss you.
The reasons reach far beyond what we once shared.
But I can’t lie and say that it doesn’t have plenty to do with it.
In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter
It never will.
The problem is…
I wish it did

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