RIP Mike Brown

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The kid’s funeral was today. I’ll reserve my judgements about some of the decisions made. But I hope this brought the young man’s soul some peace. Also, his family. There is still a major fight to be fought. But this here isn’t about that. It’s about laying this young man’s soul to rest. A small step towards healing.

I wanted to let yesterday breathe. It was the 5th anniversary of that first fateful night. I wanted it to be a very special day. Instead it was… Nothing. *sigh*
Maybe I’ll have something better about this later. Maybe I won’t. =\

I’m gonna be good to you


That sample search was also a (painful) reminder I got Her (yeah, HER) an I’m Still in Love With You vinyl a couple years ago. And it was not JUST for the sake of Simply Beautiful being on there. It was more the narrative and message of the album as a whole. I’d give the same gift this time around. Original pressing though.

Ps. That gift also included an OG pressing of Miles Davis My Funny Valentine. Sometimes I was really good. Sometimes.

6/12/09 – 2/16/14

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I’m not so sure she feels so “lucky” to have known and Loved me. Sure she has the relief though. Hank and Karen in such a bad way.

Atticus: The woman that you love is out there and you know you can’t have her. How do you even get up in the morning?
Hank: Well the booze is always helpful and so is the art. Everything that I write is either for her or about her. So I’m with her, even when I’m not.

And that’s really all that will be left. I wouldn’t be surprised if we never spoke again. That’s life. The life I created with my poor decisions. I will say, I don’t think you ever did or would’ve accepted me and all my flaws as I accepted yours. There’s more, but that’s all I feel the need to say now. Or maybe ever will.

FAILURE

Nearly 5 years of fucking up. That’s it. I failed. Over and over again. In the end, I had all the answers, and still I failed. And that’s REALLY it. This is by far the worst. Worse then before by a long shot. Lost my chance at glory. And it couldn’t have been easier to keep it. In the end I learned how much I didn’t deserve her. Cuz it was easy to keep her. And I managed to fail tragically and epically. Goodbye, Love, I deserve all the bs that come my way. You deserve everything I should’ve and was supposed to have given you, but didn’t.

LMAO hit shuffle and the first song to play is “Another Again” *sigh* I’m fucked. I’ll fix it, though. It just won’t matter to olwhatshername … You know what. It ALL matters. I just learned that the HARD way.